You know you have a Mangalorean Wife when...

• You speak to her in pure Konkani and she insists on talking to you in half-broken English.
• She does not talk to you for several days because at a recent party you chose to speak in chaste Konkani and not English, thus lowering her social status.
• She either has one brother called Wilfy, an uncle called Peddy, a cousin called Vally Dattu, a distant aunt called Yellubai (nickname for Aunty Helen), a mother who is called Jillibai, a neighbor called Pimpy, and a dog called Tommy.
• She cooks "paiz" (boiled rice) for breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner and for in-between meals. Accompanied by "Kualo Kadi" and "Lonche".
• Her idea of a party is cooking "Pooolao" (Pulav), Dukra Maas, Sanna, and Kombo Sukho.
• She drags you over to church every Sunday (and Fridays, for Gulfies) so that she can meet her friends from St. Aloysius.
• Her mother comes to your house once a month and stays over for the next 29 days.
• She thinks the telephone is one of the greatest inventions. Her phone conversation always start with "Aaz kale niste?" (What's for lunch?)
• She can tell you the current market rate of betelnuts (phopla) and coconuts (narl), without batting an eyelid. In fact, she thinks that people who chew betel leaves are cool.
• She is related to or knows almost every one in Mangalore. E.g. "She's my mother's aunt's sister-in-law's maidservant's niece." And if she isn't related to anyone particular, she makes them her Kumpadr or Kumadr.
• She knows how much each neighbor is earning and scolds her husband for earning less.
• She knows how to clean fish.
• Her statements of sympathy always begin with, "So sad, no?"
• You don't drink beer and she wonders if there's a problem with you.
• She thinks twice about kissing you even after marriage.
• If she is in the Gulf, she comes to know about what happened in Mangalore days before her cousins in Bombay know about it.
• Your cousins are called Valli and Shipri.
• Your idea of a date is having 'gadbad' (falooda) at Ideal's or Pabbas.
• The most famous men in your town are Marble Pereira, Bokol Pinth, Wagh Porbhu, Vokil Freddy, Jako Fori, and Khaithan Lobo

This is really funny forward that I received. lol. I am not sure how everyone will react but Mangee's will know what I am talking about.